Project #1
Sense of Place
1/26/11
Major suggestions by other students were that the shots seemed disconnected, especially at the end. The text was very unnecessary and should be cut, as well as some of the longer takes which focus too much on unimportant details. More boxes could simply help convey the idea of moving. Watch for things like my hair being up then down in the car.
I agree with almost everything that was said, I was considering whether or not the text was necessary, but I felt there wasn't enough visual information given like what I wanted. The ending I think threw way too many ideas into it, so I might either cut or revise this. Definitely I will further edit the longer clips and drop some.
What I learned from this critique was that people understand more than I expected them to, so there's no need to overcompensate. I need to focus more on the ideas I"m trying to convey and build it up, not just in one or two scenes. I was actually surprised at how some people were able to understand my intent even though the finished product didn't quite turn out how I wanted.
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